Well I did warn you all this was not going to be all about the barn so this is another entry that is more on the personal side of things.
If you read my previous entry about my issues that have developed with Raphi, you will understand why today was noteworthy enough to write about.
Can't believe it is May 3oth and today was our first hack (ride out off property for my non- horsey readers) of the year today..... so wonderful. Marina and I headed out to explore a new route but had to change where we wanted to go due to the old railway track being blocked off and rather too stony for horsey feet. He took it all in stride- scary garbage bags beside the driveway, lots of traffic, going around concrete bunkers ( ok so Pippa had to go first for that one), turkey vultures launching into flight, wading through muddy puddles( lakes) and even a scary post with orange flags flapping in the breeze ( ok so he spooked a bit for that one but we both settled very quickly), lots of mosquitoes, and pretty much did the whole ride "on the buckle" ( which means with a nice long rein) stretching and relaxing nicely. The trilliums in the bush were amazing! SO many- completely covering the ground ( no phone with me so no picture sorry)- white and all shades of pink. He even found his old friends the cows in the distance. I have noticed the last several days that he stands at the fence and stares off into the distance as if looking for something.... I thought it might be the cows and today proved me right. After he saw them he let out a big sigh. Best of all when we got home I rode around to the other side of the barn to let Phoebe out of the dog park and he stayed relaxed and quiet, even though we left Pippa out of sight. Last year that would have caused major anxiety... so progress in deed.And to add to it, I tied him up outside at the wash rack to untack while Pippa was inside.... again he stayed calm and quiet-- one little nicker....SO SO HAPPY.... a Good Day....Granted the territory and routine was likely familiar and the territory remembered from last year but still I'm tickled pink. We tried desperately to pick our way through the fields following tracks that would not damage grass or be too slippery underfoot. There has been SO MUCH RAIN that this in itself was a feat. Pippa seemed to enjoy finding swampy areas and puddles to wade through. One puddle on the way home even had hundreds of tadpoles swimming about in it. I am ever grateful and mindful of the blessing of being granted permission to ride on neighbouring fields.
Tuesday, 30 May 2017
Friday, 26 May 2017
Response to Anonymous (AKA CYBER BULLY)
Wow!!! I can't believe the response I got to my blog. It has been the first time that I have had comments at all so was quite thunderstruck this morning to find t he response I did. I obviously hit a nerve in someone ( and I know who the someone is despite them hiding behind the cowardly name of anonymous).
What I am most amazed about that I obviously am on someone's mind enough and made a big enough impact to get and equally big response- albeit a negative one. In case they can't tell, I am letting go of negativity and embracing positivity which might be a lesson for Anonymous to learn as well. Again, perhaps Anonymous could also look at themselves and see if they are perfect. Obviously they think they are. Well bully for you. Your comments are really a low blow in my opinion and totally uncalled for. And hey they aren't even original! Please at least have the guts to be original.....or perhaps you can't think for yourself? Don't think I don't blame myself everyday for where I am in my life in general and more specifically with my horse I do, I am trying to do something about it.....
"Anonymous" obviously missed the whole point of my entry on pondering a question. Anonymous is all about me being to blame for my issues... and hey I do believe that was the thread of my entry. How I was accepting responsibility for the decisions I have made and am trying to rectify them. How I had made poor decisions and didn't trust my instincts and gut soon enough.
Anyone who really needs to use a public forum or social media to bash people to make themselves feel better then another-- there is a word for you-- CYBER BULLY. Anyone who posts 9 times under the same name ( Anonymous) with every entry along the same vein is the same person make no mistake. You know, maybe one entry would have been legitimate as each is allowed an opinion- but to post 9 times is a bit extreme and enters the realm of bullying. Although you will likely say "Oh there she is playing victim again"-- well sorry but you turned me into the victim yourself so you have only yourself to blame by bullying on social media.
You have been successful though in taking away my joy and happiness of my blog. And yes, I am sitting here with trembling hands and heart pounding and tears welling because THAT is the type of person I am. Soft and loving and a dreamer.And I'd rather be that type of person that the type who would pull a flower out of the ground and rip its petals off just so someone who enjoys the flower can't anymore.Hope you feel very proud of yourself...Small mindedness in its extreme. Your comments come from a mean and nasty frame of mind, closed heart.... not the openness of heart and soul and love that my entries come from.I feel very sorry for you. And yes just yesterday I posted how I am learning to let go of negativity and forgive. So to really tick you off, I am going to do that. You obviously are not quite emotionally developed yet, and so I will forgive you as I would a child. If you ever choose to put out an olive branch of friendship I would accept. Because life is too short to harbour hatred and malice.
What I am most amazed about that I obviously am on someone's mind enough and made a big enough impact to get and equally big response- albeit a negative one. In case they can't tell, I am letting go of negativity and embracing positivity which might be a lesson for Anonymous to learn as well. Again, perhaps Anonymous could also look at themselves and see if they are perfect. Obviously they think they are. Well bully for you. Your comments are really a low blow in my opinion and totally uncalled for. And hey they aren't even original! Please at least have the guts to be original.....or perhaps you can't think for yourself? Don't think I don't blame myself everyday for where I am in my life in general and more specifically with my horse I do, I am trying to do something about it.....
"Anonymous" obviously missed the whole point of my entry on pondering a question. Anonymous is all about me being to blame for my issues... and hey I do believe that was the thread of my entry. How I was accepting responsibility for the decisions I have made and am trying to rectify them. How I had made poor decisions and didn't trust my instincts and gut soon enough.
Anyone who really needs to use a public forum or social media to bash people to make themselves feel better then another-- there is a word for you-- CYBER BULLY. Anyone who posts 9 times under the same name ( Anonymous) with every entry along the same vein is the same person make no mistake. You know, maybe one entry would have been legitimate as each is allowed an opinion- but to post 9 times is a bit extreme and enters the realm of bullying. Although you will likely say "Oh there she is playing victim again"-- well sorry but you turned me into the victim yourself so you have only yourself to blame by bullying on social media.
You have been successful though in taking away my joy and happiness of my blog. And yes, I am sitting here with trembling hands and heart pounding and tears welling because THAT is the type of person I am. Soft and loving and a dreamer.And I'd rather be that type of person that the type who would pull a flower out of the ground and rip its petals off just so someone who enjoys the flower can't anymore.Hope you feel very proud of yourself...Small mindedness in its extreme. Your comments come from a mean and nasty frame of mind, closed heart.... not the openness of heart and soul and love that my entries come from.I feel very sorry for you. And yes just yesterday I posted how I am learning to let go of negativity and forgive. So to really tick you off, I am going to do that. You obviously are not quite emotionally developed yet, and so I will forgive you as I would a child. If you ever choose to put out an olive branch of friendship I would accept. Because life is too short to harbour hatred and malice.
Wednesday, 24 May 2017
A Tale of Aladdin
Many of you will remember the childhood story of Aladdin and his magic lamp with the Genie inside who granted wishes. Well it appears I have my own Aladdin/Genie who grants wishes. I just seem to have to say the word and like the Cobbler and the Elves story, the next day my wish is granted.
I decided this weekend that I would take the time and clean the tack room and sort things out from our spring arrival. I really hadn't organized or tidied it- just sort of dumped things in in. Mostly due to the horrible weather we have had has really not been conducive to hanging about and thinking of spring cleaning as the weather has been anything but spring-like. So I moved all the shelving units to the new feed room, and propped up a stainless steel counter top on them. Now I have a work surface for cutting the ever important carrots for night time feeds and measuring grain into feed tubs. The shampoo and tack cleaning supplies were rehomed onto the shelves. 
A dear young lady by the name of Emma McKenna did a charcoal sketch of Raphi last year and it has now found a home on the feed room door. Emma is the niece of my heart- for her mother although not my sister is like a sister to me, and has been all my life. Emma's mum calls my mum " aunty" and so she is most definitely family. Emma was 16 last year when she made the sketch.
I have also started teaching another little lady named Laryssa- she is my new step-granddaughter.And so I decided that when helping her tack up we needed somewhere to hange the halter and prop the saddle while getting ready to ride. Hence my wishes- I wished I might have halter and saddle hooks and hey the next day, there the were. All made by hand with love. The left over horseshoe halter holders I made last year came to use and new saddle racks were made that match the blanket holder. Now I can move my old metal saddle rack over to the tack cleaning hook so we have an area to that task in.
So here are pictures of those little additions- made with love by my very own Genie--- Francis. Will wonders never cease. He really does work magic around the place.
I decided this weekend that I would take the time and clean the tack room and sort things out from our spring arrival. I really hadn't organized or tidied it- just sort of dumped things in in. Mostly due to the horrible weather we have had has really not been conducive to hanging about and thinking of spring cleaning as the weather has been anything but spring-like. So I moved all the shelving units to the new feed room, and propped up a stainless steel counter top on them. Now I have a work surface for cutting the ever important carrots for night time feeds and measuring grain into feed tubs. The shampoo and tack cleaning supplies were rehomed onto the shelves. 
I have also started teaching another little lady named Laryssa- she is my new step-granddaughter.And so I decided that when helping her tack up we needed somewhere to hange the halter and prop the saddle while getting ready to ride. Hence my wishes- I wished I might have halter and saddle hooks and hey the next day, there the were. All made by hand with love. The left over horseshoe halter holders I made last year came to use and new saddle racks were made that match the blanket holder. Now I can move my old metal saddle rack over to the tack cleaning hook so we have an area to that task in.
So here are pictures of those little additions- made with love by my very own Genie--- Francis. Will wonders never cease. He really does work magic around the place.
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| This is them hanging when not in use |
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| Ready for the saddles! |
Hi Ho the Derry Oh The Farmer in the Well ( instead of Dell)
- dig a hole 6 feet deep to allow a standpipe pump to be installed ( this type of pump will self-drain and so no water remains in the standpipe to freeze). There are other details about the hole and stones and drain pipes but I won't bore you with those as I don't totally understand it all)
- connect water pipes to existing underground pipe
- McGyver together something so that the water line from well connects to electric water pump, back to the standpipe and also to another hose /tap so a water hose can be connected to it ( Sorry but that is the best I can describe what Francis has spent the last 3 weekendsdoing! It is all very technical and complicated and I have no idea how he actually made it all work- but it does!!
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The contraption thingy that goes from water line to pump and standpipe
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- fill hole back in with stone
- pour new cement to cover hole
- connect a water pump and pressure tank ( he was going to use an old pump we had but it didn't have enough "pulling power" so he had to buy a new one).. its all red and shiny
- test the system using generator as power source as we still don't have mains electricity in the barn
- take a detour to HOme Depot and buy a new generator as the other one won't do the job ( The new one is huge, powerful and even has a remote starter so I can figure out how to start it!) PS He did try getting the old one to work properly and wasted a whole afternoon draining out the gas from the old one and retrying with "clean" gas" but to no avail.. so once his patience had reached its limit he said a bad word and went off to the store to buy a new one.
- Test system--- Hmmmm something not quite right.. everything works but no water 😠( Francis looked something like this lol)
- Decide system needs a foot valve ( one-way valve) on the end of line that is in the wellso water line stays full of water and doesn't drain back into well
- Buy foot valve
- Drain well to allow Francis to go down in it and install valve onto line in well. This is actually the scariest part as the well is just an old dug well shored up with stones. The engineering of our forefathers is astounding. This well is still standing and must be well over 100 years old. A few rocks around the "rim" are a bit loose which will be another "Francis project" to fix and cement them into place. What is amazing is the stones are merely stacked in a circle one on top of the other- no mortar holds them together. The well is about 25 feet deep- measured by putting a ladder in it.
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| View from inside the well |
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| View from top of well |
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| Well as it looks from ground level |
- Redrain well the next day as it filled up over night
- Install valve
- Scoop out all floating debris on top of well water
- Go back into barn and try pump again...... Hey Presto after 20 min to prime the line using a system he had McGyvered together, we have running water!!!😤
We ( the Royal "we", of course I mean Francis (alias McGyver)) will have to build an insulated box of some sort or a small room ( open for discussion at present) that can be heated to prevent freezing of the pump in winter-- IF and when the stables are to be used during winter time. At this time, that is in the future.
This project took 3 weekends due to inclement weather and other obstacles mentioned above. Lots of "to"ing and "fro"ing from the local hardware store - Smitty's. The ladies at the cash know Francis by name and joke to him all the time about " What did you forget this time?" as he is there several times a weekend
Pondering a Question
This is my first entry that is not about the barn restoration so not everyone will want to read this. This is a personal entry about me and my horse.
Someone asked me the other day why I don't sell Raphi and buy another horse that I wouldn't have so much grief over. You see, it has turned out that he is not "perfect" like I thought he was. Since he has been with me he has decided he doesn't want to go in horse trailers, nor does he like being separated from his best friend- who is Pippa- not me. I told the person I had almost sent him back last fall. But something in me just won't let him go. I have had a couple of people tell me different things that make sense to me. Firstly, I was told the Universe gives us the horse we need, not the horse we want. This means he has been given to me for me to learn something. Secondly, I had Reiki done on him ( yes, many of you may pooh pooh the idea but I don't really care) and she said that he is afraid to trust, had loved and trusted a previous person and he is now afraid to trust totally as I'm only going to get rid of him anyway. Must admit, that brings back haunting memories of one of my favourite childhood stories- Black Beauty. It reminds me that a horse's life is not entirely his own, but lives at the total discretion of their owner. We can make their lives heaven or hell. Unfortunately, when I first bought Raphi his life was not full of sunshine and happiness.I mean because I let him down when I bought him, not that he wasn't happy before. You see I didn't trust him- he is right there. Instead, I decided I would make myself the leader! Make him listen and do as I said...I didn't give him credit for all he had learned and done before which is absolutely daft, as that is why I bought him- because of all he had done before. I was afraid to rock the boat and stand up for myself and him. I was supposed to be fitting us into this little box /plan that was laid out before me. It had sounded like the perfect solution. And don't get me wrong, I have seen people get great amazing results from the plan but I just realized that I wasn't happy and nor was he. Perhaps, under different circumstances things would have been different, but I lacked the encouragement and support I needed, instead I got criticism and blame.
You may wonder what all this has to do with the question of why I don't sell him. Well, you see this horse didn't have these "issues" ( separation anxiety and not wanting to load in a trailer), until I bought him and exposed him to a life that was not so reassuring for a horse. I will add here that this trip to me was not uneventful- the trailer blew two tires which I know would have been very scary and so I am sure that memory is in his mind everytime. He was beaten up by other horses ( badly- every day saw another chunk taken out of him) and lost significant weight. He was exposed to a life that he didn't know- from being a stabled, pampered horse to living in a herd outside 24/7- despite heat, flies and whatever else. Again, this lies on my shoulders as I was too afraid to stand up for him, and I didn't trust my gut, which was to have him at home- even if I didn't have an area to work him in. I wanted so badly to be accepted by another person that I had always admired, to "fit in", to follow and learn what they did and were doing ( "the Plan), that I lost myself and along with that my horse and his trust.
And so, I am now taking the time to rebuild a trust between us, and I would say this winter and spring we have come a long way. He still is insecure and hates being separated, but little by little he is starting to feel safe alone with me, and without the other horse. He now comes to me when I go out to the field- he never walks away as if to say, "No I don't want to spend time with you, I don't enjoy our time together". Instead, although I walk out to get him, he always takes those last few steps to meet me. He understands my words... or at least the energy and intent behind them. He is starting to calm and relax with a touch and trigger word I have taught him.Is he perfect? Absolutely not! Does he still have moments when his fear and anxiety are at fever pitch and I can't reach him? Yes.... but I have a LOT to undo, a lot of trust to regain. All the above is one reason why I don't sell him or trade him on.
Another reason, is that I was called a "quitter" when I had decided that I didn't want to finish my Masters degree ( I was 2 courses away from completion). At the time, I thought no I'm not a quitter, I just didn't see the point in spending time, energy and money on something that was not going to change my life. So why do I spend time, energy and money on a horse that I can't do everything with? Because THAT is something worth doing!!I may not be able to go to all the events with him I want to, or go galloping with friends across fields ( I really wish I had the nerve to do that but I have seen this boy gallop at full speed in the field and let me tell you he is a ROCKET, and don't think I would be able to stop it), but I am learning a lot about myself on this journey with him. Learning that sometimes we just can't have it all, but I am close, and who knows it time perhaps his trust will be truly mine and then I will have the perfect horse, and that will because of our journey. Don't get me wrong, most days he is great but he can be a bit like Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde-- and when he is Mr Hyde he is hard to deal with- it is when he is stressed and anxious- he shuts out everything and everyone...I do live in hope that trust will be the cure to Mr Hyde. That then we can go places and do things. He did them before with a previous owner so it's in there.... I just have to find the key.
Today a story popped up on my FB page.. and I shared it... as it resonates with my feelings about Raphi. It is what made me decide to post this blog entry. It rather validates my feelings... there are days I do wish I had a horse that I could do everything with and feel safe and secure. But he came to me for a reason.... I have had other horses that I divorced ( sold) as we didn't match with no problem. Another horse may be so much less frustrating, cheaper ( Raphi is HIGH maintenance), and maybe I don't want to admit I made a mistake??--or wasted my money--- but for some reason it just doesn't feel "right" and so he stays with me and hopefully I will get where I want to-- just not quite so quickly as I had hoped.
And for those that follow the barn project, I will post soon about some of the new refinements!
Someone asked me the other day why I don't sell Raphi and buy another horse that I wouldn't have so much grief over. You see, it has turned out that he is not "perfect" like I thought he was. Since he has been with me he has decided he doesn't want to go in horse trailers, nor does he like being separated from his best friend- who is Pippa- not me. I told the person I had almost sent him back last fall. But something in me just won't let him go. I have had a couple of people tell me different things that make sense to me. Firstly, I was told the Universe gives us the horse we need, not the horse we want. This means he has been given to me for me to learn something. Secondly, I had Reiki done on him ( yes, many of you may pooh pooh the idea but I don't really care) and she said that he is afraid to trust, had loved and trusted a previous person and he is now afraid to trust totally as I'm only going to get rid of him anyway. Must admit, that brings back haunting memories of one of my favourite childhood stories- Black Beauty. It reminds me that a horse's life is not entirely his own, but lives at the total discretion of their owner. We can make their lives heaven or hell. Unfortunately, when I first bought Raphi his life was not full of sunshine and happiness.I mean because I let him down when I bought him, not that he wasn't happy before. You see I didn't trust him- he is right there. Instead, I decided I would make myself the leader! Make him listen and do as I said...I didn't give him credit for all he had learned and done before which is absolutely daft, as that is why I bought him- because of all he had done before. I was afraid to rock the boat and stand up for myself and him. I was supposed to be fitting us into this little box /plan that was laid out before me. It had sounded like the perfect solution. And don't get me wrong, I have seen people get great amazing results from the plan but I just realized that I wasn't happy and nor was he. Perhaps, under different circumstances things would have been different, but I lacked the encouragement and support I needed, instead I got criticism and blame.
You may wonder what all this has to do with the question of why I don't sell him. Well, you see this horse didn't have these "issues" ( separation anxiety and not wanting to load in a trailer), until I bought him and exposed him to a life that was not so reassuring for a horse. I will add here that this trip to me was not uneventful- the trailer blew two tires which I know would have been very scary and so I am sure that memory is in his mind everytime. He was beaten up by other horses ( badly- every day saw another chunk taken out of him) and lost significant weight. He was exposed to a life that he didn't know- from being a stabled, pampered horse to living in a herd outside 24/7- despite heat, flies and whatever else. Again, this lies on my shoulders as I was too afraid to stand up for him, and I didn't trust my gut, which was to have him at home- even if I didn't have an area to work him in. I wanted so badly to be accepted by another person that I had always admired, to "fit in", to follow and learn what they did and were doing ( "the Plan), that I lost myself and along with that my horse and his trust.
And so, I am now taking the time to rebuild a trust between us, and I would say this winter and spring we have come a long way. He still is insecure and hates being separated, but little by little he is starting to feel safe alone with me, and without the other horse. He now comes to me when I go out to the field- he never walks away as if to say, "No I don't want to spend time with you, I don't enjoy our time together". Instead, although I walk out to get him, he always takes those last few steps to meet me. He understands my words... or at least the energy and intent behind them. He is starting to calm and relax with a touch and trigger word I have taught him.Is he perfect? Absolutely not! Does he still have moments when his fear and anxiety are at fever pitch and I can't reach him? Yes.... but I have a LOT to undo, a lot of trust to regain. All the above is one reason why I don't sell him or trade him on.
Another reason, is that I was called a "quitter" when I had decided that I didn't want to finish my Masters degree ( I was 2 courses away from completion). At the time, I thought no I'm not a quitter, I just didn't see the point in spending time, energy and money on something that was not going to change my life. So why do I spend time, energy and money on a horse that I can't do everything with? Because THAT is something worth doing!!I may not be able to go to all the events with him I want to, or go galloping with friends across fields ( I really wish I had the nerve to do that but I have seen this boy gallop at full speed in the field and let me tell you he is a ROCKET, and don't think I would be able to stop it), but I am learning a lot about myself on this journey with him. Learning that sometimes we just can't have it all, but I am close, and who knows it time perhaps his trust will be truly mine and then I will have the perfect horse, and that will because of our journey. Don't get me wrong, most days he is great but he can be a bit like Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde-- and when he is Mr Hyde he is hard to deal with- it is when he is stressed and anxious- he shuts out everything and everyone...I do live in hope that trust will be the cure to Mr Hyde. That then we can go places and do things. He did them before with a previous owner so it's in there.... I just have to find the key.
Today a story popped up on my FB page.. and I shared it... as it resonates with my feelings about Raphi. It is what made me decide to post this blog entry. It rather validates my feelings... there are days I do wish I had a horse that I could do everything with and feel safe and secure. But he came to me for a reason.... I have had other horses that I divorced ( sold) as we didn't match with no problem. Another horse may be so much less frustrating, cheaper ( Raphi is HIGH maintenance), and maybe I don't want to admit I made a mistake??--or wasted my money--- but for some reason it just doesn't feel "right" and so he stays with me and hopefully I will get where I want to-- just not quite so quickly as I had hoped.
And for those that follow the barn project, I will post soon about some of the new refinements!
Monday, 15 May 2017
New Boarders!!
I know I haven't posted for awhile, and I hope to do some catching up soon, but in the meantime I just had to do a quick share of our new boarders.
On Saturday, Francis and I went up to spend our first evening back in the barn- he enjoyed a beer well deserved after a frustrating day ( more on that later), and I with my usual tea in hand. We hunkered down in the tackroom/lounge to enjoy listening to the horses merrily munching on hay and basically settling in for the night. While I was there, I decided that Raphi really needed to be divested of his mud coat which he had cheerfully donned during the day. He has become quite the procurer of this "vetement" ( clothing). While grooming, I suddenly noticed a wee swallow keeping us company- he kept flying up and down the alley and then perching himself to observe all the "goings on". To our delight, we noticed a new nest has been built on the beam in the alley way near Pippa's stall-- our resident swallows have returned to roost again. We can now hear the chirping of the parents as they nestle in to care for their babes to be. The are not afraid and fly around us, in and out through the barn door... we will have to make sure we keep some type of opening for them so we don't trap them in or out of the barn. Anyway, loved this shot as the one male stood watch over us all while we were enjoying our evening and he guarded his family.
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| Swallow roosting and watching us in the barn |
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