Welcome Back and a Dream Reborn

Well it has been a very long time since I blogged last, not sure quite why- time perhaps, lack of photos for another But I have been drawn back to my blog.

So much has happened in the 20 months or so since I last posted I scarce know where to begin.! I think I will have to update the current state of things, and then go backwards.

First of all, I am proud to announce that the Big Barn Book got published finally and was Francis's 50th birthday present in August 2018. It holds pride of place on our coffee table in the living room and we show it to anyone who dares to come to  visit and stay long enough to sit downstairs. The big problem is, we rarely use the living room, or for that matter, most of the house. We tend to congregate in the kitchen or the barn. I will try to add a picture of what it looks like later.

Secondly, events transpired this winter that forced me to bring Raphi and Pippa home from where they have boarded for the last two winters. Our original design for the barn was it was a "summer retreat", but never set up as a full-time winter equine residence. You see, I don't have an indoor riding arena which is really quite necessary in this climate if you want to continue serious riding/training during winter months. I was lucky enough to find a place within 10 minutes of home that provided stabling and a small arena in fall 2018. Marina and I returned in November 2019 only to be told in December that the place had been sold and we would have to move out by January 25. This was the catalyst that has made some HUGE changes both in the barn and our lives. You know how you have theat niggling dream that sits in the back of your mind and you say "one day...". or " I wish I could.."? Well having to move home in the dead of winter has had some upsides.  You see last fall, Francis found some rigid foam insulation on sale on Facebook, and he said, " Maybe we should buy that just in case we ever decide to winterize the barn?". And so we did our calculations and bought second hand rigid insulation for the barn ceiling. We stacked it in two of the unused horse stalls. The on December 16 when we were given our "move out notice", Francis got to work prepping to bring our horses home. You see, there was really nowhere else to go anyway. No one else had indoor board spaces anyway,,,, and so our path was determined by fate , the Universe, or some power other than ourselves.

We sat and conjured up plans and solutions to problems. Again, quite eerily, I had decided to bring in extra hay in the fall and to "stock up the shavings room".. so we would be ready for spring.  Again, I think the Universe was gently guiding us the whole time.
So we had problems to solve:

• water outside
• water inside
• how to keep the place warm?
• no water supply to the barn in winter as water pump is not in a heated area

The insulation installation was a tedious and time consuming job. Francis managed to get it finished only as far as the tack lockers -- not all the way down the barn to the new wall. In order to install the insulation ALL the wiring  had to be taken down!  The insulation was too thick to go between the ceiling and the electrical conduits. So down it all came and then insulation put up and the electrical back up. We were lucky this winter as far as temperatures went and it was rare that it dipped below -10 or 15 C. However, once we moved the horses home, Mother Nature decided that it was time for winter and the temps went down to normal; -25 C plus wind chill on top. So Francis decided to build a temporary winter wall half way down the alley where he had managed to get the insulation done prior to our arrival January 25. The hope was that two horses would be able to help hold the heat in a smaller area. And yes it worked. Of course the "king of gadgets" had to install wifi thermometers inside the barn so we could keep track of how cold and humid it was at ALL times. 

The water problem was solved by building a little insulated room around the water pump. It is about  8 x10 feet. He bought a little oil-filled electric heater to heat the room. Then he had to see if the underground lines we use that are original from the well in the far field are actually deep enough to not freeze??? And again, it all fell into place- he reprimed the lines easily and we had running water. 

He put a pipe through the wall to the outside which a hose fits through. He feeds the hose out the pipe  to fill a heated water bucket that is outside, and then brings it back in when its full. A piece of rigid foam insulation acts as a lid to help keep the water warm as well. I must admit that Raphi does not like this system and seems to not want to drink from the bucket, but Pippa is happy as a clam- she just pushes the styrofoam down and drinks heartily whenever she wants. We bought plug in heated water buckets for the stalls- but I think we hardly need them. It has gone down to -1.8 at its coldest in the barn so the water would not freeze. But then our horses do enjoy their warm water. 

Blanket racks were hung in the "hot room" so we would have somewhere for them to dry-- we have had a lot of freezing rain this winter and they come in quite soggy.( Yes, our horses have outdoor winter clothes !). Raphi has outdoor clothes and indoor jammies which he gets changed into each night when he comes in. He really is a hot-house flower so to speak. He doesn't like being cold or wet and so it is my job to cater to his needs. 

So that brings us to why we winterized the barn... which leads to that topic I mentioned before- the one about the dream, the little voice in your head ....

I have toyed with the idea of having a small private horse boarding facility for likely 30 years. It just never was in the cards. But the dream sort of was always there... hovering, trying to come to life. The barn reno means I have 5 stalls- so yes I do have room. But I have no paddocks, just one big open area. We bought fencing two years ago but its never been put up- no posts, no time and really no need for just me and my horse, plus one. So one day, a few weeks ago, someone I met at a riding clinic in August, contacts me and says would I consider boarding her horse?   I said I'm not really set up for it - no fencing, etc. She wants her horse to be on its own which poses a big problem when we have no other paddocks. So I tell Francis and he says well tell her she can come in spring once we have fences built. So I do that and we set a tentative date for May 1. Fast forward a few days and the lady says, are you sure I can't come sooner? What about an electric fence? And so Francis proceeds to put up an electric fence- we buy wiring and a fencer. He snow blows and plows out areas for the horse by the shed. He pushes it into big banks " to create a wind break for the horses so they won't be so cold outside". I mean he is moving more than 4-5 feet of snow in places where its drifted. All to accommodate someone we barely know. But that's the kind of man he is- heart as big as the Universe and the determination to go with it. 

So on Feb 29, 2020 I became an official boarding barn. On March 3 I registered as a business and registered the business name- Greystoke Stables. Francis designed a logo for me from a concept I had.

Since then, I have a friend who has asked to bring her horse here sometime in mid May and I may have another client coming May 1. I was going to keep a stall for myself in case I needed it - you see Raphi has had a bad 12 months and I was thinking he may not be up to doing what I want to do, but the Universe has intervened AGAIN. I had an offer accepted on a horse I wanted and then 36 hours later they called back and said they sold it to someone else. Then I have someone wanting the last stall-- so I take these as signs that my journey with Raphi is not over, and I am to commit wholeheartedly to being a boarding facility--- small, private and no competition to the professional barns/stables around me-but a boarding facility none the less. My dream ..... and so it continues. This has taught me that we are often steered in certain directions by things that happen in our lives, At the time, they may seem unconnected, inconsequential and yet they are. They connect together like gossamer threads of a web- which seem like nothing until in the early morning sun, you see it- that beautiful spider web- multiple delicate threads, that create something stunningly beautiful which at first you could not see or recognize. And so our barn restoration has led to this next chapter in the book........

I know it won't be all sunshine and roses; its hard work- a commitment every day- but I wondered how I was going to be able to afford to keep a horse once I retired... ( which no, is not in the cards quite yet),,,but perhaps I'm being pushed along this path for a reason. 

You are now all caught up on the present. My next posts will take  you back over the last 20 months and what has transpired. 

Changes , Challenges and Continuations

A lot has transpired since my last post. The spring started with such hope for an exciting season- for new adventures and taking up off challenges. However, things have changed and so a different journey begins. 

A few weeks ago my friend's horse experienced an illness and so she has had to move her horse home to her house as she can no longer be out on grass. Francis and I took a day to help them glorify the old paddock- we added electric fence, fixed gates, lent them rubber mats for a stall,cleaned out the back of the shed, gave them some hay and generally helped get everything "shipshape- or I should say "horse shape". 

Restoring a paddock for Pippa

This has made a huge change to the visions I had for my summer and it brought me great sadness. I found myself crying uncontrollably for days. I knew Raphi would also miss his dear friend as would I mine. However, along with the help of some herbal remedies, Raphi has adjusted well. He now doesn't care about being in the barn alone, and is much more interested in the people that hang around there. He still is far more likely to  give kisses to Francis than he is to me,but overall he is gentler,softer, and is much more interested in me. Part of the reason may very well be the horse cookies I've been feeding him! Marina was making them but now I have the recipe ( my first batch did not turn out as well as Marina's) but he still gobbles them up. In fact, they have actually helped me entice him into the trailer- now that's an accomplishment! I have adjusted by turning what I saw as a negative and looking for the positive in it. I am now much more interesting to him than I was, and am now acceptable as a friend even. I will miss my riding partner and barn mate, but I have hope that this will have advantages. I have taken him out in the fields twice- once he was so good- the other time not so much but it was hot and the flies were bad,however, there were no hysterics ike previously if I asked him to leave Pippa. 

There have been lots of updates in the barn:

• the tack is now housed in the locker and not in the tack room/lounge. The lounge is now official as we decided we would move an old set of patio furniture up there so it is really cozy now. I still tend to sit on a stool near Raphi's stall lol. 
• The window sill in the lounge has become MIss Kitty's home ( my lost post was about Miss Kitty- I will try to rewrite it ); she eats on one of the bookshelves ( so the dogs can't polish of her food) 
• the bookshelves now contain my books full of riding exercises for easy reference before my ride. However, I really do need a bulletin board/post by the ring to hang them on for reference asI for the life of me can't remember them once I'm riding
• wash stall is now completed with special rubber mats, ground leveled, retaining walls built
  
• beautification by adding hanging basket near the barn door( my other passion is gardening and I LOVE flowers)

• rock retaining wall by the barn door to stop rain and dirt washing in the barn when we have heavy rainfalls
• the bench Francis restored is now outside and I have used in on several hot days just to sit and admire and " be present" in the moment
• main alleyway has been repaired
• present cement jack hammered  out,wheelbarrowed out of the barn, footing for a wall across the alleyway poured 
• new cement poured to level off floor by other stalls
• gravel and stone dust added into alleyway as base for rubber mats
• cement levelled off in the utility area so now both lockers are against one wall and the blanket rack can be used again
• the original horseshoes embedded in the cement when Dave did some work in the barn for me were saved and put back in place at the entrance of each stall and in the utility area ( where the manure forks,broom, shovel live)
• the stall doors all had to be removed and trimmed to account for the new mats
• rubber mats placed down entire alleyway ( I will post a picture of this later as I don't seem to have one today)

Below are a sequence of pictures showing the restoration of the barn floor.

Old cement removed and forms made

Cement poured in utility area and in front of stalls

Francis making cement

New cement floors

Utility area with horse shoes!

Gravel on top of stone rubble

Gravel all compacted and ready for stone dust

Stone dust down and compacted- ready for rubber mats

Just so you have an idea of Francis' efficiency and dedication this project- it took him two days to get all the cement out and forms made and another two days to get all the new cement poured, gravel and stone dust done!! He really has an EverReady Bunny battery installed in him somewhere....😜

There is going to be wall built across the alleyway about where the wheelbarrow is in the picture-  to divide the New and Old sections are- for aesthetics and also if we winter horse(s) it will be to help keep the barn warmer??? 

Preparations, Practicalities & Realizations

This entry was actually written a couple of months ago, just before I went to collect Raphi from where he spent the winter. I couldn't get the pictures to load properly and so it has taken me until now to snag some time from Francis to help fix this. However, while working on this tonight he accidently deleted one whole post, so I am nots ure if I will be able to rewrite it.Hence I am going ahead and posting what I have thus far.

SO here is the late entry#1.... from mid April 2018


I'm really not sure why I am sitting down to write this entry as I do realize it is rather egocentric of me to think that anyone besides myself would really have any interest on what I write about but I am doing it anyway. Perhaps it is because I want to reassure myself that I can find joy in life despite not all things being perfect. It can be easy to focus on the negative things, what is going wrong- or at least it seems that is my default if you will. I struggle constantly with this and my horse and writing somehow helps me change this. I have always been a caudal-cephalic type learner- in other words, if I don't write things down myself, I don't retain the information. Hence while I was studying for my degrees online, I always had to print off all the articles, assignments, etc and be able to feel the pages, jot down notes, underline things etc. This makes a connection between the information and my brain. So, I am realizing by writing down positive things  I feel happier -hence my "blogging". I've had a tough few days for various reasons and so I think it is time for me to blog--so you now have to endure reading it! Catharsis for my soul...

I think the other reason I am blogging is that it is a way for me to keep my memories alive- to not forget about things that happen to me, my thoughts..You see many years ago now ( Oct 2007/Jan 2008) I went and worked as a civilian critical care nurse for the Canadian Armed Forces in Kandahar ,Afghanistan at the Role 3 Multinational Medical Unit (MMU). While I was there I wrote a lot of my thoughts/feelings down in messages and emails to home. I regret that I do not have a copy of those messages/emails anymore. Although for some reason I did find 2 of them on my computer one night. You see when I went to Afghanistan I was in a tough stage of my life. I was going to share the details but have since deleted them... not sure I want to bear my soul quite that much in public. However, I did come back with a different outlook- it reinforced to me that I HATE conflict, am capable of and will ALWAYS forgive someone no matter how much I may have been hurt by them ( well not true, there are two exceptions). I also think that I need to process the hurt better, because although I forgive, I am learning that the "hurt" can still stay deep inside our souls and with it stays a deep sadness- the trick is now learning how to process all that angst and release it.... and I'm officially working on that part. NOT easy... It seems I am rather a bit of an emotional sponge as it were.... now have to figure out how to squish it all out....

So now onto the joyous part..... 

Over the winter Francis added lovely cupboards to the feed room-complete with counter top and a sink. These are repurposed from his  friend's condo that was flooded last spring.New feed bins were sourced and placed-- all ready to be filled with the various components of Raphi's very select diet. He eats better than  we do I think!


Preparations are underway for Raphi's homecoming. We are going to get him the weekend of April 28/29. It was supposed to be this weekend but Mother Nature has not cooperated! There is still LOTS of snow here but the forecast for next week is great (+14 C) so hopefully it will all vanish.This morning Francis pulled out the trailer so he can check it over. Last night I went to Marina's to borrow her spare tire for her trailer ( we have the same make/model of trailer- how convenient is that??!!). For some reason I want to be prepared "just in case" and Marina says I need to honour that feeling. I have a spare as well so now I have two for the journey. I have purchased antacid and "chill" ) a herbal anti-anxiety thing) for my dear boy as it worked wonders for him on the trip down in the fall. He was calm and relaxed the whole trip  and even ate during the journey ( a good sign of relaxation). Francis has built new mangers in the stalls. 

The aim of this is to help relieve stress on Raphi's shoulder as when fed from the ground he sprawls his left leg forward all the time- from my research this winter it appears that eating constantly in this position can influence uneven muscling of the shoulders and also affect hoof shape/development.I always thought that "ground feeding" was most natural for horses but from the reading I have done, they say wild horses graze on forage at different heights -they eat short grasses, long grasses, nibble leaves from up on tree branches etc. So I will simulate this. He will have a hay net hung for higher feeding, a manger in the stall, and when outside he will graze from the ground. This is what he has had all winter,and his shoulder movement has improved, ( largely due to saddle being refitted) and his muscle has improved a bit.

 I am hoping that he will be a good boy to get in the trailer. I have asked Chelsea to start telling him that he is coming home soon...to the field, his stall, and of course Pippa.Part of me feels guilty about him coming home. Chelsea is the amazing young lady who has had him since November. She was his previous owner ( but not who I bought him from)- she knew him during his racing days, nursed him through his broken leg, and owned him for several years after he retired from racing. They have a very special bond and Raphi (or Gary as she calls him) absolutely adores her. Chelsea has kept me informed of how he's been doing, and has  sent me pictures, texts and videos on a regular basis.  They will both be sad I think when they are separated again... I am just hoping he will understand and that his life with me here is worth it. Who knows, perhaps he will go back next winter.....

I bought a new saddle last fall as my old one just did not fit him properly. I knew it did not fit properly last winter and struggled with the idea of getting a new one. A saddle is a very personal thing-- it has to fit both horse and rider. I struggled not only because of the expense of a new one, but there is no great place to purchase one near here. I ordered a couple to try but they either didn't fit me or him. Very disheartening as it meant that I also couldn't ride much last year ( along with all the rain!).But it was more than that that hindered me. It was the fact that I was emotionally attached to my old one. Years ago I  dreamed of having a great saddle-but reality was that I would never be able to afford one.  But my grandmother died Jan 1 2000 and she bequeathed me some money. I used some of that to buy my "dream" saddle. That saddle sits on a wooden horse in my living room. The wooden horse was the last Christmas gift I received from my ex-husband. Both these items are treasured, remnants of lost loves, and poignant reminders of some great times in my life and people who I shared my life and heart with.I haven't managed to sell my saddle yet ( seems no one considers my "dream" saddle, their dream saddle)but I have managed to reach a place where I now could let it go.  I finally realized that if I sold my saddle to replace it with another that would allow me to enjoy my passion of riding then I was still honouring my grandmother's gift.  My grandmother was never a rider herself, but I think she recognized the passion in me, as the same passion of my great aunt Jane, who was an avid horsewoman in her day. She died at a young age and I am in fact named for her- my middle name is Jane. ( oops just realized I did it again- off on a tangent- nothing about practicality but an emotional out pouring of "stuff"--sorry 

The new saddle I bought although comfy for me, did not fit Raphi perfectly and despite my attempts at making it work, it just never did. I realized that I would have to have it customized to him  as his muscling over his shoulders is so different that without the fitting/adjustments it sat crookedly on him and hence so did I. I took advantage of a professional saddler in the Toronto area while Raphi was with Chelsea.Chelsea was such a huge help in this regard- coordinating the first fitting, doing the requisite rides before the final check. I went down in February to ride and get the final "okay" from the saddler.... Chelsea says that he seems comfortable in it now...and I have hope that it will continue to work well for us both.

Several weeks ago I bought hay and that is safely stowed away in the barn loft covered with a tarp to prevent pigeon poop from getting on it.  I also researched hay this winter- which is the best for horses prone to ulcers. I was always told :horsehay" was first cut timothy/alfalfa mix. Turns out that is not the best for horses with ulcers. Research shows that the rapid spring growth in grasses makes the grass very "stemmy" and coarse. Hard for digestion. Second cut, and especially alfalfa hay is softer and has a a high calcium content which helps prevent ulcers. Makes sense when you think that human TUMS are calcium based....So I went searching for second cut alfalfa hay-- VERY hard to find around here but did find some, although the alfalfa content is not that high. I found out that is another reason he has done so well this winter- his hay is second cut 80% alfalfa. You can see that although Raphi has not been with me all winter, he has been on my mind and keeping me busy in other ways-researching lol.I also spent the winter doing an online riding course so I am better prepared when he gets home-- loads of exercises for us to experiment with to help prevent boredom while hopefully getting me back in shape. I was going to do yoga all winter but I'm dismal at following through on exercise... So I have nowhere to go but up in that department.

I picked up his grain  last week and have also arranged for Chelsea to pick up two bags of special feed that she has had him on. Unfortunately, I can't get the type of feed locally or even in Ottawa - unfortunate as it seems that it does a great job on keeping his weight on and muscling him up. I have spent days researching different brands/types - checking ingredients ( soybean,beet pulp,flax, versus grains such as corn, percentages of protein, fat, NSC( sugar). I have ordered his supplements that Chelsea has had him on all winter- probiotics, a hoof strengthener, and also something to help prevent ulcers as this seems to be a chronic issue with him. He really does get better nutrition than I do!

Francis has  built two amazing new lockers for Marina and I for all our horsey gear.. Another case of Sue "design", Francis "do"😃.Well, okay I cheated a bit on the design part. Chelsea has a locker that is similar and it inspired me to go and search the Internet for images. We used that image as the "blueprint.  They will eventually go side by side but for now they are facing each other as the cement floor needs to be levelled/repaired. The handles are not yet attached... I was thinking of using old horseshoes again, but Francis is not  so keen. He wants something that can be locked...not sure that is a requirement at this point in time but can't hurt I guess. The lockers will mean that my blanket rack has to be moved a bit but again a small task for the talented Francis.

The tasks left to do are: reseal the rubber matting, hook up the water line in the barn, drag out the water trough.Those are all beyond me so I will need help hint, hint....

 This winter has been a long and tough one for various reasons. All the harder that my "muse" has not been with me but so it begins.... another spring, fresh beginnings,new hopes and aspirations....I

Working Through Issues

I know it's been a long time since I posted anything on the blog about the barn restoration.... this has been for several reasons. The first and most difficult one for me to work around was that Francis changed jobs last year and before he handed back in his Blackberry he "reformatted" it - in other words he erased everything that he had put on it. So he was the one taking all the progress pictures as my iphone pictures are crappy quality, plus I'm often not around as I may be working, so am not there to take them. So I don't have a lot of pictures of "work in progress". 

The second reason,and in reality is probably, the biggest reason,is that despite me saying I wouldn't let the scathing comments made by a certain person ( aka cyberbully) deter me, it did. They did manage to suck the life and joy I found in this project completely away. Perhaps it really is time I let that go and try to recapture the joy. I find writing very cathartic for my soul..I get to relive moments that have made a huge impact on me- whether that is joy or sadness... either way it is a way for me to process those emotions.

The third reason,is that I got discouraged by my efforts to transform the blog into a book. You see, I had this brilliant idea to make the renovation and story of the barn "journey: into a gift for Francis. It was supposed to be his Christmas gift in 2016.... but things did not quite go according to plan. Multiple days of work would suddenly "not save", photos would "fail to import" and so I gave up, quit, became defeated by the task. It took me months and the only entries I had managed to get done were the first two months of blog entries! I felt like I would never be able to do it. So I let it rest and percolate for awhile. Then when I went back to restart, the program did an"update" which would not load and I seemed to lose all the work I had done. SO again,I threw my hands in the air, cried a few tears and admitted defeat. So for months, I have neither blogged nor attempted the book. But I've just decided this week to try again. I managed to get the book "unlost",got the program to work( still not really user friendly) and am now up to June 2016! All winter I have sat at home bored and now spring is around the corner ( I live in eternal hope it will come soon .......) and life will be busy,I am motivated again. I'm hoping to get at least the first year done in time for a certain person's birthday... or Christmas....

As to the barn, not a huge amount of really visible changes have happened... but they are significant. Last summer Francis installed  electricity and water in the barn, and did landscaping outside. Francis built  a real "feed room"(complete with cupboards) over the winter,we spent time sourcing out grain bins, designed tack lockers( one completed- another in progress), and added mangers to the stalls. He had wanted to start work on the last part of replacing the outside wall, but the wind was kind of knocked out of  our sails when we realized the foundation at the far end of barn is in worse shape than we realized... and that will have to be remedied before we can do the supporting wall... going to get expensive again :(.We are still trying to figure out how to do it....It will involve shoring up the far end of the barn somehow ...and getting the weight of the barn off the foundation, pouring/ repairing the cement, and then rebuilding the support wall- then putting the barn back onto it. 

Last summer I was also dealing with some issues as I couldn't find a saddle to fit Raphi,so really couldn't do any serious riding, it seemed to rain every day off I had anyway...and so I just spent time mostly "hanging out with him" instead. I think my saddle issue is resolved ( for now at least) and I can only hope the weather will be more conducive this year. Raphi has spent the winter away in Hamilton and is due home April 30... perhaps that is why I have lacked motivation... and am now getting re-energized? My horse has very much become my "joie de vivre".... I hope my family are not insulted by that and can understand that a passion never replaces anyone, just is away for me to find joy, keep my self busy and not feel so lonely- as that is a demon I have come to struggle with. I know I need to work on myself, and I think somehow my horse helps me discover things about myself, about life, things that I struggle with.... and I hope this in turn will help me be a better me. 

Almost complete

Well it's hard to believe but the stable renovations are almost complete. That's not to say that there isn't still work to do, as there certainly is, but the "stable" is almost finished. The final stall ( number 5) has been built. So now technically I could board other horses or have overnight "visitors"...Hmm perhaps a horse B & B would be an idea?? Wonder if there is any demand for that kind of thing?  Hehe-- I could name it B and B's Equine B & B ( Bow and Belanger Equine B and B)...or B and B Stables??? My children jokingly call the house Chateau le Beau which is a play on words for Le Bow Chateau.... I've always thought it quite a complement to all the hard work that Francis has done over the years beautifying our home for it really is a thing of beauty. Of course, I must give credit where it is due, and my first husband Dave, originally built the house over 30 years ago now. It too was built with love at that time and we didn't have a lot of money in those days.The house has evolved much as the way the barn has actually. Nurtured and loved ....to wrap itself around the family and provide shelter from the world. Home really is my place of "Zen"...
Sorry, I've done it again.... gone off on a tangent, but after all, this blog is about me, the feelings that come up when I sit here "blogging", and my past is part of my present and my future, and so it must be honoured as well.

Stall # 5 on the left- across from 3 and 4. View looking up the
alleyway. ( Yes the floor isn't matted yet, but Francis has plans
for that as well)

The stall went up last weekend and today Francis is building the "shavings" stall. Up to now we have been getting shavings from a local saw mill which we bag ourselves and bring home. So now we ( the royal "we" again)have built and area that we can dump shavings into. The same person we buy from is willing to sell in bulk and deliver loose ( not bagged) shavings for us. It will not be quite as convenient when putting shavings into the stalls at night, as I will have to shovel them into a wheelbarrow  to get them to the stalls, but will prevent the need for having to go and load up the trailer and bag the shavings and then brings the bags into the barn. I just love the door Francis made. He made it to my specifications- I wanted a "stable door"- the type that the top half opens separately from the bottom. I just LOVE stable doors. I think it is because it reminds me of some of the happiest times of my childhood. You see when I was growing up in England, our house( called Wyncliff- it was built on a cliff along the sea), our kitchen door was a stable door. It opened out into a courtyard that housed a place) very similar in fact to my shavings room) to store the coal for the Aga ( English equivalent to a North American cook stove- but sorry far better😁) and then steps up to the garage. 

The finished product-

View of the "stable door" Francis made- Inside the shavings room
PS I would have like the cross bars to show on the outside, but he
says he made them to match the Feed Room door

The inside of the shavings room

Also last weekend finishing touches were put on my hay cart. I usually carry flakes of hay from where the hay is stored down the alley to the stalls. It never fails that both myself and the floor are covered with loose hay by the time I am finished. But Francis solved that problem  by buying a little cart and converting it into a hay cart by building a box ( please note the special trim around the top) that will hold a bale of hay. It has wheels that steer and even a padded handle!  I had suggested he make one from old bicycle wheels as we have a lot of old bikes stored at the far end of the barn, but of course this is a step up from that.

The "hay cart"

I have just realized that the design of the barn is not the most "heat efficient" if we do ever winter horses here as the stalls are not clustered together at one end with all the "utility areas" at the other. However, if in future I do board horses, it gives a sense of intimacy and privacy as my horse and tack etc is in one area, while boarders would be further down. The final stall is set aside by itself which can be for a) a horse that is not very sociable or b) one who is sick ( would not be in contact with any others through bars etc). However, although by itself, the 5th stall is across from the other so other horses would be insight. Of course, its Murphy's law that the last stall's sliding door is the easiest to open/close and works like a dream. It is also a bit longer than the other two, albeit 4 inches narrower ( had to do with joists,etc and I vetoed the idea of a stall that was 12 x 13, so instead it is 9 1/2 x 13. The other two extras are 10x10. Sizing is based on where the main support beams are for the barn. The alleyway in the barn doesn't  run directly down the middle but is instead slightly off center. Raphi's and Pippa's stalls are the deluxe versions of 10x13. Unfortunately, Pippa's is the only one without its own window--- perhaps next year Marina will want her to have a window? In which case she would have to change stalls as there is not a way to install one through the stone foundation.

Yesterday the electrician was out to give us advice on how to get electricity to the barn. We will be running it from the house breaker box underground to the barn and then from there over to Francis' workshop. I do believe he said that is what he will do during his "holiday" this year. As I said, there is still lots to do, but the major changes are now finished. A wall is to be built at the end of the "renovated" section. This will close in the stables and separate it from the empty part of the barn that still looks quite unloved and dishevelled. The wall will have a big door in it to allow us to bring hay in etc. The shavings room may end up storing some hay as well... we will see what develops over time.

This last picture is just a view of the wonderful sunset we had last evening. It seemed to just finish the end of  a great weekend. Saturday was spent grooming our acreage- I cut the lawns around the house and then the grass around the barn ( about 3.5 acres) while Francis bush-hogged ( mowed with a rotary cutter run by the tractor) the 4 acres of pasture. It has been such a rainy spring that the grass has grown like wildfire. The horses are rather picky in that they really don't like grass when it is over long and over mature, and so we cut it back so it can regrow. It also helps prevent weeds from going to seed and reseeding themselves( may theory anyway). Funny but on Saturday evening I was working Pippa and Francis had left the back gate to the neighbouring fields open( he was whipper-snipping, "trimming") along the fence lines and Raphi decided to go for a mosy( slow ambling walk) into the tall grasses. Raphi could have decided to gallop off across 300 acres of lush pasture or even to go and search for cow friends, but instead he chose to stay close by- close to "home" and his family, which I do believe is finally starting to include the humans who care for him as much as it does Pippa. Francis went to bring him back and he was so good about it- just kept dropping his head for one more bite of the long grass- no halter, no lead rope- just Francis holding the edge of Raphi's fly mask( Raphi HATES flies) that he wears on his head when flies are bad. I wish I had a picture of that but it is etched in my mind. A man who had no love of horses before we met, and a horse .... wandering through waving grasses - with a gentle communication- "Raphi  come back in to your pasture", and the gentle reply of "Yes, okay but can I just stop for a little bite along the way?", and the man replying, "Sure, why not...but then we really must go back because Mum said so"
It really was such an amazing weekend-- 

Of course the camera does not do justice to the crimson and orange of the sky, but this was the view that greeted us as Francis and I came around the corner of the barn... He  wanted to show me his handiwork of the day. 

First Spring Ride

Well I did warn you all this was not going to be all about the barn  so this is another entry that is more on the personal side of things.

If you read my previous entry about my issues that have developed with Raphi, you will understand why today was noteworthy enough to write about. 

Can't believe it is May 3oth and today was our first hack (ride out off property for my non- horsey readers) of the year today..... so wonderful. Marina and I headed out to explore a new route but had to change where we wanted to go due to the old railway track being blocked off and rather too stony for horsey feet. He took it all in stride- scary garbage bags beside the driveway, lots of traffic, going around concrete bunkers ( ok so Pippa had to go first for that one), turkey vultures launching into flight, wading through muddy puddles( lakes) and even a scary post with orange flags flapping in the breeze ( ok so he spooked a bit for that one but we both settled very quickly), lots of mosquitoes, and pretty much did the whole ride "on the buckle" ( which means with a nice long rein) stretching and relaxing nicely. The trilliums in the bush were amazing! SO many- completely covering the ground ( no phone with me so no picture sorry)- white and all shades of pink. He even found his old friends the cows in the distance. I have noticed the last several days that he stands at the fence and stares off into the distance as if looking for something.... I thought it might be the cows and today proved me right. After he saw them he let out a big sigh. Best of all when we got home I rode around to the other side of the barn to let Phoebe out of the dog park and he stayed relaxed and quiet, even though we left Pippa out of sight. Last year that would have caused major anxiety... so progress in deed.And to add to it, I tied him up outside at the wash rack to untack while Pippa was inside.... again he stayed calm and quiet-- one little nicker....SO SO HAPPY.... a Good Day....Granted the territory and routine was likely familiar and the territory remembered from last year but still I'm tickled pink. We tried desperately to pick our way through the fields following tracks that would not damage grass or be too slippery underfoot. There has been SO MUCH RAIN that this in itself was a feat. Pippa seemed to enjoy finding swampy areas and puddles to wade through. One puddle on the way home even had hundreds of tadpoles swimming about in it. I am ever grateful and mindful of the blessing of being granted permission to ride on neighbouring fields.

Response to Anonymous (AKA CYBER BULLY)

Wow!!! I can't believe the response I got to my blog. It has been the first time that I have had comments at all so was quite thunderstruck this morning to find t he response I did. I obviously hit a nerve in someone ( and I know who the someone is despite them hiding behind the cowardly name of anonymous).

What I am most amazed about that I obviously am on someone's mind enough and made a big enough impact to get and equally big response- albeit a negative one. In case they can't tell, I am letting go of negativity and embracing positivity which might be a lesson for Anonymous to learn as well. Again, perhaps Anonymous could also look at themselves and see if they are perfect. Obviously they think they are. Well bully for you. Your comments are really a low blow in my opinion and totally uncalled for. And hey they aren't even original! Please at least have the guts to be original.....or perhaps you can't think for yourself? Don't think I don't blame myself everyday for where I am in my life in general and more specifically with my horse I do, I am trying to do something about it.....

"Anonymous" obviously missed the whole point of my entry on pondering a question. Anonymous is all about me being to blame for my issues... and hey I do believe that was the thread of my entry. How I was accepting responsibility for the decisions I have made and am trying to rectify them. How I had made poor decisions and didn't trust my instincts and gut soon enough.

Anyone who really needs to use a public forum or social media to bash people to make themselves feel  better then another-- there is a word for you-- CYBER BULLY. Anyone who posts 9 times under the same name ( Anonymous) with every entry along the same vein is the same person make no mistake. You know, maybe one entry would have been legitimate as each is allowed an opinion- but to post 9 times is a bit extreme and enters the realm of bullying. Although you will likely say "Oh there she is  playing victim again"-- well sorry but you turned me into the victim yourself so you have only yourself to blame by bullying on social media. 

You have been successful though in taking away my joy and happiness of my blog. And yes, I am sitting here with trembling hands and heart pounding and tears welling because THAT is the type of person I am. Soft and loving and a dreamer.And I'd rather be that type of person that the type who would pull a flower out of the ground and rip its petals off just so someone who enjoys the flower can't  anymore.Hope you feel very proud of yourself...Small mindedness in its extreme. Your comments come from a mean and nasty frame of mind, closed heart.... not the openness of heart and soul and love that my entries come from.I feel very sorry for you. And yes just yesterday I posted how I am learning to let go of negativity and forgive. So to really tick you off, I am going to do that. You obviously are not quite emotionally developed yet, and so I will forgive you as I would a child. If you ever choose to put out an olive branch of friendship I would accept. Because life is too short to harbour hatred and malice.